This year I did Nanowrimo for the third time. I finished the month with 43,381 words. I only needed another 6,619 words and I would have been a Nano ‘winner’. But I didn’t. I failed.
At first I was kind of pissed with myself. I mean I only had six and half odd thousand words left – I could have done it. I could have smashed it out at the end over the last weekend.
But instead I decided to take the kids to the pool, paint Christmas ornaments with my daughter, dig in my vegetable garden (got my first cucumber this weekend – go me!).
I didn’t reach 50,000 words, but you know what. It’s Okay. I still did a brilliant amount of words AND I took time off to spend with my family.
As a stay at home mum / writer, I now realise I can’t have ‘it all’. I can’t always spend unlimited times at my computer getting lost in a story (or staring at a blank screen wondering what the hell is meant to happen next).
Readers might want that next book right this very moment. I’d love to be able to give it to them. But I also love sitting back with a coffee in one hand staring out the window at the Christmas lights my neighbour has put up. I also love dancing with my daughter to the kmart ad (seriously – that song rocks kmart – don’t ever change it). And while I don’t always love talking to my son about first person shooter games, I do love that he wants to share his interests with me.
My house is often a mess. My life is never perfect. But I have food on the table, a crazy family, and I get to do what I love for a career – write. Just not as often as I would like.
And that’s okay.